If I Leave Too Soon

by Jesse Barki

supported by

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

Purchasable with gift card

$2 USD or more
Full Digital Discography

15

releases

Get all 15 Jesse Barki releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Make It All Feel Real, Simple mind, Songs for Laying in the Grass, Hits In LoFi, Encounters, Introspective (Acoustic), Age Of Unknown Callers, If I Leave Too Soon, and 7 more. , and , .

Purchasable with gift card

$28 USD or more (50% OFF)

about

This song has double meaning:

The first meaning stems from analyzing and facing depression and meaninglessness. I question what life would be like without me, what would happen to the life that I would leave behind, and what would be waiting for me on the other side? As this void of no answers consumes me, I start to lose that light at the end of the tunnel that keeps me going, and my negative thoughts grow stronger. It gets to a point where it takes will power to think positively and better myself. When we occasionally drift out just a little too far, we can see our lives flash before our eyes. We see our past, we see the things that really matter, and we remember how they make us feel, and those feelings are what we are alive for, and we realize that those feelings can be so easy to achieve if we just let ourselves achieve them; it is our own decision. This realization changes my perception of the situation; it empowers me, and allows me to escape the void enough to climb out and forever have this new meaning of life ingrained in me.

The second meaning stems from my consistent experiences with anxiety and my perpetual fear of letting go of things, which is where a good deal of my anxiety stems from. Learning to let go is how to deal with anxiety; this song is the ultimate face off, and in the face of anxiety, letting go looks just like death. I must analyze my past and the things I've learned in order to deal with my current anxiety, and I must continually remind myself that these strong, convincing feelings that I am dying are not true. I must let these feelings pass through me and not possess me.

Wanna talk? facebook me, instagram me, or jessebarkisr@live.com, take your pick

lyrics

If I leave too soon, who will love the things I love?
If I leave too soon, who will come looking for me?
If I leave too soon, who will find what I’ve been missing?
If I leave too soon, who will be where I will be?

I’m feeling such a cold wind
The contrast on my warm skin
Do you wonder where the sun goes?
I wonder all my life, where is the glow?
Why do I have to know what is out there?

Real momentary lapse, I retract into the past, dwell on all I’ve left behind
God, there is a lot that I forgot, some is good and some is bad, overall I think I’m glad

Yeah I’m feeling that ole cold wind
The contrast on my warm skin
Do you wonder where the sun goes?
I wonder all my life, where is the glow?
Why do I have to know what is out there?

If I fall asleep, will someone awaken me?
If I fall asleep, will someone please save me?

credits

released November 2, 2018
Tracked, mixed, and mastered by Jon Smith and Jesse Barki
Produced by Evan Flemming Buck and Jesse Barki
Artwork by Luke Topping

license

about

Jesse Barki Annville, Pennsylvania

I make music in Lancaster, PA.

contact / help

Contact Jesse Barki

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Jesse Barki, you may also like:

The Edge of the Land
by Katie Spencer

Spencer's indie folk sophomore album was recorded live in the studio over the course of two days. Bandcamp New & Notable May 6, 2022
go to album
I Used To Be Sad & Then I Forgot
by Mr. Alec Bowman_Clarke

Alec Bowman perfectly captures the dark soil under the pastoral world of British folk with this collection of melancholy originals. Bandcamp New & Notable May 12, 2020
go to album
3ingle
by Jason Lytle, Little Wings, Kramies

A trio of songs from indie rock veterans, “3ingle” showcases their songwriting skill with pared-back, acoustic arrangements. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 8, 2018
go to album
For My Love
by Kesang Marstrand

featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 5, 2016
go to album
Fear of Life
by Atheists

Delicate, plangent singer-songwriter material that feels like its petals could fall at any moment. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 12, 2017
go to album
Sorry I'm So Sensitive
by Bea Stewart

The second EP from Northern Irish singer-songwriter Bea Stewart runs from gentle folk to pillowy pop ballads, all perfectly executed. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 15, 2024
go to album
Invitation
by Michele Stodart

Michelle Stodart’s folk music captures hope in melancholy, addressing the transformational aspects of the most challenging times. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 3, 2023
go to album